Wednesday, August 14, 2013

A few words on loss

 There are minor griefs such as the loss of a girlfriend or boyfriend, and major griefs such as the death of a relation or friend. These words mostly apply to both.

“Mourn for a period and then return to life. Do not let grief put you into an early grave.”
[Old Testament]

“Lose yourself in action lest ye wither in despair.”

“Let joy catch you unawares.”

“I’ll never get over the death of my son  – I never should.”

“All the pain of the loss can come back to haunt you at any time.”

“Giving all your love to someone is no guarantee that they’ll love you in return.”

“If you love something, let it go; if it comes back to you, it was love; if not, it was never meant to be.”

“It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved.”
[Tennyson, Alfred Lord]

Sorrow is of the black wolf in us. But it seems there’s more to the story of the black and white wolf:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.” It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”
You might heard the story ends like this: The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
In the Cherokee world, however, the story ends this way:
The old Cherokee simply replied, “If you feed them right, they both win.” and the story goes on: 
“You see, if I only choose to feed the white wolf, the black one will be hiding around every corner waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump to get the attention he craves. He will always be angry and always fighting the white wolf. But if I acknowledge him, he is happy and the white wolf is happy and we all win. For the black wolf has many qualities – tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strong-willed and great strategic thinking – that I have need of at times and that the white wolf lacks. But the white wolf has compassion, caring, strength and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all.
"You see, son, the white wolf needs the black wolf at his side. To feed only one would starve the other and they will become uncontrollable. To feed and care for both means they will serve you well and do nothing that is not a part of something greater, something good, something of life. Feed them both and there will be no more internal struggle for your attention. And when there is no battle inside, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowing that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance. Peace, my son, is the Cherokee mission in life. A man or a woman who has peace inside has everything. A man or a woman who is pulled apart by the war inside him or her has nothing.
"How you choose to interact with the opposing forces within you will determine your life. Starve one or the other or guide them both.”
–Cherokee Story

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18

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