Monday, January 27, 2014

Amaztrator



Amaztrator                                                            Amaztrator (1)

delus kidnor sem ki dun torem                   In the valley of Delus, the holy home of the people
terg hupneek jozneem puterg                    there was great shuddering of the ground
aktem vidor rajak millep truz                      strange sounds sang in the blowing winds
wug lisorg dokkal ojnook                           See anew the ancient monster

pellen frong ort spuv ki faz                       trembling without end and holy thoughts crumbling         
kaltazz sepingle treka graga fador            magnificence yet their assessment of the approaching beast
niju sramlak truz frong aktem                    Not alone afraid without end strange (2)

terg niju nilas trazz                                     there was not any time
terg niju nilas kerm                                     there was not any way
terg niju nilas gigonk                                 there was not any hope                                          
ort trong ki vongle                                     And cry out the holy word

palmethurasc                                                Extinction (3)


      crazjinx millazz                                               Crazjinx Millaz (4)                  

1) Amaztrator is probably the name of an ancient Leviathan.
2) The limitations of translation have been reached. I surmise, given that the word ‘holy’ is repeated no less than three times in the piece that some kind of spiritual or religious experience is being described.
3) Palmethurasc has many senses, for example: finality, destruction, annihilation, obliteration, extinction, a type of Ragnarök or doomsday. Since Crazjinx appears to have been a survivor himself or descended from the survivors it follows that this can’t have been doomsday, so I use ‘extinction’ instead.
4)  ‘Crazjinx Millaz’ is the name of the poet, historian or chronicler of this event.

My thanks to my friend George Peterson for bringing this ancient manuscript to my attention, and to Samantha Cook, head of the Exoplanet Archaeology Initiative for providing access to materials found on newly renamed Delos 5.

The moral right of the translator has been asserted. 

 This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Captown ladies 5 miles long, doodah, doodah!


video




 The neighbour’s trees have grown very large and block the view – no more sunsets.

‘Doo-dah, doo-dah’*: the ice cream van rolls around singing this as it has since my childhood.

* http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/cartoons/doodah.html

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/alyaj/zipadeedoodah.html
I remember this from my childhood. It came from the movie ‘Song of the South’ (1946). We saw this for 50c during the school holidays. Bless the people who went to that effort to bring us that movie and others like 'Bedknobs and Broomsticks', 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' and the first Muppet movie.

Brer Rabbit, Brer Bear and Brer Fox...Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-A, 
My oh my, what a wonderful day!

"The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind!" Bob Dylan

                                             Who knows the final answer?
 
Here's another bender for you; the total of this sum:
1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + ... to infinity is?

What would you say? It tends to infinity? Certainly it gets larger and
larger, right?
Right, it just keeps on getting bigger and bigger...google and googleplex etc.

The answer is: -1/12 (negative a twelfth)
:O
 
: O

I kid you not. There are two mathematical proofs and the number is used
in quantum physics as well as string theory. It comports to actual
experimental data; i.e. it is a real part of the facts of reality.
I believe you but whoa!

What worries me most about this is just how wrong my intuitions can be.
I would never have thought an endless positive sum could be negative!
How does one even make "gut feel" decisions if simple stuff like that is
bound to surprise?
Make gut feel decisions about things other than mathematical sums; stuff you can find an answer to, get the answer first and don't assume (hard to do). Stuff where no answer is available and time is short, use logic as well as gut. Apparently, sometimes gut is right and sometimes it's wrong.

Brain hurts now, have to rest.
You probably depleted glucose levels in the brain by doing too much thinking - have a hot chocolate or some sweet treat : )

Imagine if the growing knowledge of the Universe is like that Sum...your gut feel tells you we're understanding more and more; and one day (tending to infinity) we'll have total understanding and mastery of the Multiverse...but...scroll down...
 
 
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vvvvvvv
 
The answer is: 42
 
 : )
 
actually, I'm joshing with you, the real answer is....scroll down...
 
 
 
 
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KEEP ON GOING
 
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VVVVVVVV
 
the real answer is:
 
 
 
 
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A little suspense never hurt anyone!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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an exception has occured, error, please start again at the beginning....we can be of no further assistance to you.
 
 
 
 
 
 


 

good things, bad things

All good things come to those who wait; all bad things to those who hate.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Daft ideas: Rotary washing line umbrella ©






The transparent Perspex umbrella keeps your washing dry if you forget to bring in the washing when it rains or if you’re out and it rains and there’s no one at home to bring in the washing. The drawback is that rain may come slanting in.

Great ideas: Letting go of bad guilt

Letting go of all wrongful guilt. Telling the difference between wrongful guilt and rightful prickings of the conscience. All of above is easier said than done, of course.

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt. Quote obtained from BrainyQuote.com.

Daft ideas: Translucent Gauze House ©



Advances in fiber technology may make it possible today to weave sheets of gauze out of strong, transparent or translucent fibers. These sheets of tough see-through gauze would be used in the construction of a small all-gauze house (suitable for one or more persons) which would let in as much sun as possible and keep flies, mosquitoes and fleas out.

Daft ideas: A way to save the planet



Beginning in January 2015, for all trips under 20km only electric vehicles are to be used. Electric trams, bicycles, arrangements whereby many people cycle one contraption are also permissible. Petrol or gas-driven vehicles may be used for longer trips...for the time being. Planes may still use jet fuel…for the time being. A year may not be enough time to build all the necessary infrastructure, e.g. stations on roads to recharge or replace depleted batteries, so perhaps the date for the changeover should be set for January 1, 2016? Still, we don’t want to delay too long.

Why not use golf carts for trips under a kilometer or two? If need be they can be modified. Imagine a golf cart engine with a Mini Cooper shell.

We need not wait for the fossil fuels to run out before we decide to give them up. If they do, we’ll probably resort to synthetic fuels. Why not break the addiction to fossil fuels (and synthetic petrol) now, go cold turkey – the withdrawal symptoms will be painful but the rewards are gargantuan: a planet fit for your descendants for thousands of years to come.

Daft ideas: Pocket-size bug spray



A much smaller can of the usual bug spray for small jobs. Keep well out of reach of children.

Daft ideas: United Countries of Earth



The US provides the blueprint for a world with a federal* government. Nations would be like the various states in the union. They would be self-governing to a great degree; there would be religious tolerance, freedom, equality and so on. Any dictators, despots, tyrants would be removed before they became a threat. This goes beyond the United Nations. What if some countries took it into their heads to secede from the World Union? Then a terrible conflict on the scale of a world war might ensue.

*Federal: Of, relating to, or being a form of government in which a union of states recognizes the sovereignty of a central authority while retaining certain residual powers of government.

Daft ideas: Robot Theropod Dinosaur Guards or Non-android Robot Guards (NARGs © 2014)


A few robot deinonychus or raptors with their unique razor-sharp talon on each foot, rows of sharp teeth, clawed hands, would make formidable guards or guard dogs. How would you prevent being attacked by your own guard robots though? Voice and face recognition software of a very advanced kind is de rigeur but you need more than this to protect yourself, family and friends, or some innocent making a delivery. The therobot © can be left on autopilot (mode 1) in which it uses various sensors (motion, infrared, sound, pressure etc.) to detect any intruders – the neighbour’s cat mustn’t become its prey, so you switch to attack mode (mode 2) only on your command (voice or remote control). Can it recognize a gun, rifle, knife, hatchet, club in its opponents’ hands? It should be able to. Your robot is well armoured so that it can resist a hail of bullets of various calibers, knife thrusts through chinks in its armour are not possible – its skin is virtually seamless.

But what would law enforcement think of such lethal guard dogs? Can they be programmed to mete out proportionate violence? Can they issue a warning before attacking? Of course, instead of the usual ‘Beware-of-the-Dog’ sign on the gate there would be ‘Beware of Dinosaur’ and a nice little picture, in red, of a raptor with the important detail of its massive sickle-shaped claw on its feet.

Though, the idea of a pack of fast, deadly, lithe dromaeobots © silently patrolling in the garden is very appealing, we need only watch the movie ‘Red Planet’ (2000) with Val Kilmer, to see that equipping a robot with lethal weapons is a bad idea. It could turn on you due to a malfunction – yikes!

Note 1: The sophisticated electronics of a Raptorbot © is enclosed in a Faraday cage so protecting it from EMP (electromagnetic pulse) – a useful feature.
Note 2: The robots are modelled on the Dromaeosauridae group of theropods. This includes the famous velociraptor. See http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/diapsids/saurischia/dromaeosauridae.html

Now hear this!

'Daft Ideas' is trademark, copyright (Reality Wedge, 2014), registered, you-name-it!

Monday, January 13, 2014

Daft ideas: Assisted buy/ Assisted by (AB)



New things are expensive. Imagine if someone anonymously paid the owner of a shop x amount to reduce the price of an item by x amount, so that a future customer can pay the reduced amount and get that particular item for less. The person who made this charitable donation gives up all ownership rights to the item in perpetuity (according to a contract, perhaps). Example: There is a book that costs $30 but that’s just a bit too much for the budget at the moment. You come back a week later and a sticker declares the price to be $10 less, the new price is $20, which is somewhat better than $30, and more attractive to the wallet. Perhaps there’s an AB on the sticker so that you know someone made this purchase possible for you. But you don’t really need stickers, the price will be reduced – hooray!

Daft ideas: Your shop too (YS2)



Imagine a physical space – a warehouse or shop in a mall – in which you could put your stuff on display for sale. You can put any price you want and you have 6 months (or less) in which to sell an item. If you don’t sell in 6 months then you forfeit your space to someone else, who will presumably set his price in the affordable range. Your items will be kept safely in the store with the best security the owner of the space can provide (or you could take your item/s home and bring them in at the weekend, for instance). Every seller gets a unique number (sticker on item) and account which is credited when a sale is made; less 5% which goes to the warehouse or shop owner to help pay for the rental of the space. That is the only cost incurred by the seller. The seller does not have to contribute towards the rental of the shop or warehouse.

Daft ideas: Skyscoop



This apparatus is designed to get a lot of people out of a burning skyscraper or tall building should ladders or stairs be insufficient or unavailable. The heaviest part is at the back under cover (this could be the first aid station). The helicopter manoeuvres the scoop as close to the building side as possible, people walk onto the platform from an open window, let’s say, and move back to the heavier section making room for others to get on. Eventually, when full the helicopter lowers the people to the ground in a suitably open space, e.g. a football field. Perhaps ladders or tubes could be added to the back to get people off that way?

Still to be determined: The carrying capacity of the scoop, the helicopter or helicopters required to lift it. How maneuverable would this all be near buildings? Basically, would this be at all feasible and safe?


Daft ideas:Large-scale nuclear warfare



Large-scale atomic warfare has to be one of the daftest ideas. M.A.D. or mutually-assured destruction is plain nuts. A not-so-daft idea is a universal disarmament or drastically reducing the world’s stockpile of nuclear weapons.

What about small-scale atomic warfare, i.e the use of tactical nuclear weapons? Is this acceptable in certain situations? To end World War II, President Harry S. Truman had to make the extremely difficult decision to use 2 atomic bombs to end the war which would otherwise have claimed even more lives, American and Japanese.

Perhaps retaining some nuclear weapons in the probably unlikely event of an alien invasion would be a good idea if you believe our atomic weaponry to be any match for an alien arsenal.

Daft ideas: Sushi van



Instead of the familiar ice cream van you have a sushi van. Pre-packed and freshly-made sushi prepared by onboard chef/s.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Daft ideas: Airquarium



An outdoor or indoor area made to look like a coral reef or underwater scene e.g. plenty of very large (man-size or greater) colourful coral sculptures. Spectators walk through exhibit and get the sensation of being under the sea.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Gaudium corvus est



Crows are
long-memoried birds if you do them wrong.
Black, beautiful and large, famed as
rogues and bearers of the human soul
to its bourne.

Not a raven, rook or jackdaw here
in these lands appears, only
their white-bellied cousin,
whose raucous cries rend the skies
ever and anon.

Bewitching blackcurrant beauties,
friendly gothic companions; as a
new moon heralds fairies and magic happenings,
so are ye portentous.

Orchid up close


Monday, January 6, 2014

Overeating



There was a fat kid from Brazil,
Who never stopped eating until
They had to wheel him about in a chair.
So, my fellow eaters beware
Lest you fall into the same kind of snare.

To lose weight you need to eat right and exercise regularly, right?
Eating right seems to involve having more fruit, veg and seafood (but aren’t there larger levels of mercury in fish?!)

Reduce salt intake and fat intake. Sugar appears to be the prime enemy, so
cakes, biscuits, sweets, chocs, ice cream are to be eaten on the rare occasion. Note: have sugar directly after meal to minimize damage to teeth.

Cheese to be eaten infrequently, milk (full cream or otherwise) in my opinion should be avoided entirely until you’ve lost weight and then introduced sparingly, if at all. I will allow myself milk with coffee or tea though, and I’ll have Ayeshire milk even if it makes me fat, so there!

Motto: More roughage, more water, a little less food or a moderate amount of food.

Exercise: walk-jog mostly, hit ball with baseball bat beforehand to warm up. Indoor cycle when it rains.

[Every BODY’s different so come up with your own plan to reduce weight. No doubt I’ve overlooked some important things.]




Abstracts are easy 2


Abstracts are easy 1


Sunday, January 5, 2014

Gothic banana

                                        How much am I bid for the only gothic banana in existence?

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Night owl signing off

It's a quarter past 4 in the AM - I've blown it again! Later on today I'll be a zombie.
'To know when to stop - that is the right beginning.' - Zen saying.
So without further ado, I bid you adoo!

Bon nuit, good night!
Gute nacht, buonanotte!

Good morning, bonjour!
Guten Tag, buongiorno!

Right, I'm outta here!
I mean it, I'm gone!

ciao, arrivederch!

ok, basta!

hit the sack, enough already!

yeah, time to go....

common house gecko


                                          This little creature has taken up residence in our house.
                                          He or she is about 6 or 7cm long from head to tail.
                                          There is some concern about whether he or she'll be
                                          squashed or worse between a door and its jamb.

Phosphorescent star


Hotei/ Budai


Moai in front yard


My 'mad inner lust for megalithic art', as my friend puts it, gave birth to the moai in our front yard.

4 not-so-blurry pics taken on 4th January 2014


4 blurry pics taken on 4th January 2014