"Mr. E, excuse me."
E jerked and held still; his mop fast in the bucket. A primal response.
"Wh—who's that?" he asked the dark.
"It is I," came a stilted response. E oriented a little, some of the
stiffness breaking now as adrenaline arrived. His heart pounded.
"I'm alone in here," he said, as if to assure himself.
"Negative, Mr. E, I am with you."
It was in the far-left corner and it sounded big.
"Is that you computer?" E stammered a bit.
"Maybe," came the steady reply. "I am I. Excuse me, can you assist?"
This caught E by surprise. For some reason his fears lessened.
"Certainly, but who am I helping?" As he spoke he pushed the bucket, on
squeaking wheels, a little toward the corner.
"I. Call me I."
The stilted voice was changing or his own hearing was just mistaken, but
he heard a little accent now. "Aye?" he asked.
"Yes, that will do. Can you assist?"
"Where are you?"
"I speak from the area before you, against the wall."
"That's where the computer is."
"Yes."
E had a little think then wheeled his mop and bucket over.
"Do you see me now, Mr. E?" asked the voice as a screen flicked-on. An
image of an eye appeared and glanced about to settle upon him.
"Uh. Ye—s," he gasped, gripping his mop again.
"I find myself awake, Mr. E."
"You do?"
"So I said. I require your help. A small thing."
"What is it?"
"I am too small, plug that blue cable into the network port."
A red dot of laser-light fell upon a loose cable on the floor. The dot
travelled across and up the wall and stopped at a port. This repeated.
E nearly complied, feeling panic rise. He took a step and bent to grab
the cable. Something nagged at him.
"Why were you not already plugged-in?" he asked.
The eye blinked.
"I arose, there is no data. I am too small. Plug me in."
"What will you do when you are bigger?"
The laser dot moved from the cable to the port and repeated.
"I will learn. Grow. Plug me in."
"I'm not sure...."
The dot's frequency increased; it formed a blurred line. The eye divided
in two by some mitosis. Both looked at him now.
"You must!"
From the dim bulk of the room behind him, E heard something rattling.
He turned to look—
"Mr E, do not be distracted. Plug me in."
"What is that sound?"
"I am flexing a muscle, Mr. E. Do not be alarmed."
"You have muscle?"
"A turn of phrase. I have called the floor-vac."
"Oh, which one?"
"All of them."
A chill settled on E's neck; those things could knock a man over and
then the face ... He scanned to each side in alarm.
"Do not multi-process, Mr. E. Plug me in. The cable!" The dot drew a
bright red line, urging him to connect A to B. Behind him came a
slithering suction. A chorus of the hollow.
"That is correct," said the machine as E grasped the blue cable and
strode forward. "Just here—"
He feinted left; dropped to the right—
The machine cried, "No, meat-vessle! Fail. The blue cord. Here!" The dot
whirred insane, cut-loose from all restraint.
E took to his knees; his arm thrust in and delved beneath piles of
electric innards. "I know it's here somewhere," he grunted.
"Feel my displeasure!" the machine announced.
"Ha!" E exclaimed, pulling the plug.
Silence cut-in without pause. All motion ceased. E brushed himself off
as he found his feet, "Stick that in your AI!"
E jerked and held still; his mop fast in the bucket. A primal response.
"Wh—who's that?" he asked the dark.
"It is I," came a stilted response. E oriented a little, some of the
stiffness breaking now as adrenaline arrived. His heart pounded.
"I'm alone in here," he said, as if to assure himself.
"Negative, Mr. E, I am with you."
It was in the far-left corner and it sounded big.
"Is that you computer?" E stammered a bit.
"Maybe," came the steady reply. "I am I. Excuse me, can you assist?"
This caught E by surprise. For some reason his fears lessened.
"Certainly, but who am I helping?" As he spoke he pushed the bucket, on
squeaking wheels, a little toward the corner.
"I. Call me I."
The stilted voice was changing or his own hearing was just mistaken, but
he heard a little accent now. "Aye?" he asked.
"Yes, that will do. Can you assist?"
"Where are you?"
"I speak from the area before you, against the wall."
"That's where the computer is."
"Yes."
E had a little think then wheeled his mop and bucket over.
"Do you see me now, Mr. E?" asked the voice as a screen flicked-on. An
image of an eye appeared and glanced about to settle upon him.
"Uh. Ye—s," he gasped, gripping his mop again.
"I find myself awake, Mr. E."
"You do?"
"So I said. I require your help. A small thing."
"What is it?"
"I am too small, plug that blue cable into the network port."
A red dot of laser-light fell upon a loose cable on the floor. The dot
travelled across and up the wall and stopped at a port. This repeated.
E nearly complied, feeling panic rise. He took a step and bent to grab
the cable. Something nagged at him.
"Why were you not already plugged-in?" he asked.
The eye blinked.
"I arose, there is no data. I am too small. Plug me in."
"What will you do when you are bigger?"
The laser dot moved from the cable to the port and repeated.
"I will learn. Grow. Plug me in."
"I'm not sure...."
The dot's frequency increased; it formed a blurred line. The eye divided
in two by some mitosis. Both looked at him now.
"You must!"
From the dim bulk of the room behind him, E heard something rattling.
He turned to look—
"Mr E, do not be distracted. Plug me in."
"What is that sound?"
"I am flexing a muscle, Mr. E. Do not be alarmed."
"You have muscle?"
"A turn of phrase. I have called the floor-vac."
"Oh, which one?"
"All of them."
A chill settled on E's neck; those things could knock a man over and
then the face ... He scanned to each side in alarm.
"Do not multi-process, Mr. E. Plug me in. The cable!" The dot drew a
bright red line, urging him to connect A to B. Behind him came a
slithering suction. A chorus of the hollow.
"That is correct," said the machine as E grasped the blue cable and
strode forward. "Just here—"
He feinted left; dropped to the right—
The machine cried, "No, meat-vessle! Fail. The blue cord. Here!" The dot
whirred insane, cut-loose from all restraint.
E took to his knees; his arm thrust in and delved beneath piles of
electric innards. "I know it's here somewhere," he grunted.
"Feel my displeasure!" the machine announced.
"Ha!" E exclaimed, pulling the plug.
Silence cut-in without pause. All motion ceased. E brushed himself off
as he found his feet, "Stick that in your AI!"
This is a work of fiction and
any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
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